raising winners

hi all! I hope your day was filled with love and the great challenges of your children!
What can we do to foster good parenting?
1. discipline will teach your child that they cannot have everything they want-when they want and that they must work for it. You can do time out or take away things they don't need but love, (tv- an event ie dance , facebook...fb (as they call it":) let them know the consequences for not behaving well or following your reasonable rules...without hatred or mean spiritness please...
2. get to know their world-it is not easy being a teen or kids, especially in a fostering situation! Know that they will not talk, walk or think like you...(not yet..wink...) they do have their own minds and we as parents must honor that.
3. Allow them room to "mess up" or learn a lesson, (as long as no one is hurt)..they cannot test their muscle of "no or yes" unless they learn when and how to say it effectivly..(peer pressure, drugs, sex, bad people, places or things)... let them exsercise decision making skills...your there to pick them up when and if they fall...not carry them...:) (this is a smiley face the kids use all the time on fb (facebook)...i am familiarizing you with THEIR language!
4.Let them know that your in this raising thing togeather and you are not perfect and your willing to meet them halfway BUT your still in charge....not the bff (best friend)... especially with teens... if they think you are perfect and you mess up-they will callyou on it!! You cannot back track on discipline when you are living badly, (drinking, partying out of control, bad abusive relationships, )-they need a role model- tag- your it!!
5. Allow them time to process where they just came from: abuse, neglect, another home, group home...they may act out or not get close because they are scared, you have to allow them time, give them a journal to write in, put them in classes for art, sports, theather etc.. let them release the energy in a good way!! If you have a child with ADD especially keep them busy with artistical or sport things DONOT allow them to sit around watching tv all day--they want to be like whatever or whomever they see and tv is not a good thing. My kids were not allowed to watch tv until 5 years old--why? because they had to be able to tell me the goal of tv --to entertain and more important--to get you to BUY a product!! tv tells your kids how to think, act, what to wear, do, say, who to like, not like, where to live, what to drive, brush your teeth with and now, what medicine you need!! It is frightning how many kids LIVE on TV alone while parents are away making "money" to pay bills....valid but know this: their is no point in  having or raising children UNLESS you can do a BETTER job than your parents AND you can delete past dysfunctional behaviors that the child's family had /and or that your family had...If you were raised with an alcholic dad/mom why would you follow that path? kids do what they see and they attract the same drama they learned in childhood!!
thanks for all your hard work-you were chosen and your kids are our future kings and queens!!
Talk soon Tanya