This is the Day!

Hi blog family- PARENTS - PLEASE SHARE WITH YOUR KIDS!

It has been a while but life, is always happening, even when were busy! lol

Have you ever had a great idea but did not act on it?

Ask yourself why?

Did you need a contact name, money, materials?

 Why did you not act on it when the idea was fresh?

Often we can sabotage ourselves by NOT acting on an idea!

We are all creative and have the ability to create a million dollar idea....but not many of us act on it. When I say us, yes, those who grew up in any home and were NOT encourage to follow through on an idea.

I say we all have a 6th sense" when you know something is right or wrong...

many of us are taught to suppress this feeling very young and when we get older....the concept...."no faith" in our ideas has taken place....it has become embedded, thanks to family, no family, negative people, places and things...everything teaches you NOT to follow your instinct...especially if you were in a group home, (not knowing you likely have a better "instinct" than anyone)...because you had to use it to stay away from bad people!!....

Not many kids in group home settings are encouraged to try new things and not be afraid to be different...example:" if i said in a group home: "I'm gonna be a superstar in TV one day" ....most kids and other would laugh or say "Yea right"!!

But Eddie Murphy, Mariah Carey, Pit Bull, Kerry Washington, DMX, Oprah....(OK Oprah was not a Foster kid but she had some comparisons....)

think of this: 

MANY survivors of Holocaust/Slavery/famine/AIDS epidemic etc... were orphaned and many in parts of Africa...8 million are today!!! 

 It was DMC from Run DMC that said at an event we spoke at years ago...."Jesus" was an orphan!!!

 Its not what you are or where your at!!....its where are you going and what are you doing to get there!!

Everyone has divine purpose, yours may not be the same as mine! That is why you must follow through with YOUR talent, gifts and ideas!!!!

You may save or change a life one day!" (that is my quote from my   brother Rob that passed.....)

the names above were said to have been in foster care at some point in their lives....they all  knew they would make it one day...because they followed an inner voice...instinct"!!! They are not perfect" but they have all contributed to the world through film, singing acting and activism- you can't beat that for a foster kid!!!

WE ALL HAVE IT!!!! God made us ALL special, some just choose to Not be anything GREAT- we choose mediocre....or "OK"...You chose that, you were not born 'OK" you were born to be great! Something happened along the way to divert you - its OK...get back on your path of greatness!!!! TODAY!!!

We may "think" of a great idea....but it will be just a thought......

You cannot get to your dream without taking chances!! Think of a million dollar idea, Paint the next Picasso, invent a new product, write the next manuscript...

Get Out meet people in the field you WANT to be in!!

Join groups on Linkdin/FB/YOUTUBE and other sites that give you advice on the talent, skill or idea you are trying to develop!

Remember failure is not an option!!

When you don't act on something......nothing will come of that great idea!

Paint that picture you always dreamed of..

write that script you have in your head for a blockbuster movie!

Meet new friends that share your interest, take a class at the local college if you need to...

invent something new you think the world needs.

Don't let not having materials, money or even connections stop you! There is always some action you could take: write it down, find a mentor, use alternative to make a prototype, (until you get what you need)

Whatever you have been dreaming to do, to make to be.....start today, this is the day created just for you!!

Smile, someone is watching you....:)

Tanya

Happy Mothers Day!

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY TO ALL! DO BETTER THAN YOUR PARENTS BY LOVING UNCONDITIONALLY, TEACHING, RESPECT TO OTHERS AND SELF AND TEACH YOUR KIDS TO LOVE LIFE! XO TANYA

Words from Tony Robbins on Own...

Hi blog family!

I like to give credit when do AND if someone else can say something to save or change your life........I let them speak and share what they say!

Tony Robbins is a brilliant man who gets "how to live and enjoy life".... I got this from Oprah's own, (forgive me O) lol... but good stuff must be shared!!! enjoy!!

The life coach and host of Breakthrough with Tony Robbins believes in living a passionate life, a life in which fear is a counselor, not a jailer. Here, he shows us how to "step up" during our most intimidating moments:

1. Don't Turn an Excuse into an Identity
We need be careful of how we label ourselves, for example, saying "I'm an fearful person" or "I'm a weak person" or "I'm not a strong person." Usually that label comes from your current or past behavior, but once the label becomes a part of you, it starts to control you. So what I try to get people to understand is: Hey, you're not broken. You don't need to be fixed. You don't need a label. All you need to do is say, "I have to decide how I want to be now going forward."

2. Develop a Habit 
Courage is not the absence of fear. That idea is the biggest b.s. in the world. Fear is impossible to eradicate. If you were completely fearless, you'd be dead. People who are courageous are scared to the core—they just make themselves go forward anyway; they make themselves take some kind of action. Taking action, even though you're afraid, is how you become courageous—because courage, like fear, is a habit. The more you do it, the more you do it, and this habit—of stepping up, of taking action—more than anything else, will move you in a different direction.

3. Let Your Body Lead the Way 
Taking that action for the first time can be pretty rough. When it comes time to give the speech to the committee or snowboard down the mountain, don't hesitate. Don't start to analyze it. The longer you stand there, the harder it gets, because then your mind gets involved. If your challenge is mental, use your body. If it's in the body, use your body more aggressively. At 17 years old, I was on my own, sleeping in a laundry room. I had no idea what to do. I was so depressed. Fear is physically debilitating. I had to defeat it. So I made myself run until I thought I was going to spit up blood. I got stronger in my body, which, in turn gave me mental strength. 

Read more: http://www.oprah.com/oprahs-lifeclass/Tony-Robbins-How-to-Live-Courageously#ixzz1qqF2l66z

Parents...Oprah said...

Hi blog parents!
I like my own words, but if someone can say it better and clearer, so be it...please view Oprah regularly to get great ways to inspire your foster kids!! Have a wonderful day and thanks for changing a life!!

 Tanya

Photo: George Burns © Harpo Inc.

Many of us think that our power is a tool or a weapon, but, in fact, power is a state of being, the way you see, hold and handle yourself in the world that then determines your experiences. The external world can only respond to the way you hold and handle yourself internally. If you show up as weak, broken, confused and dazed, the world is going to respond to you that way. If you show up as confident, kind, compassionate and loving, then the world is going to respond to you that way.

This is why we have got to understand that you do not have to do anything to have power. That said, there are some surprises when it comes to your power, ones that, if understood, can improve your ability to tap into it:

1. Power is your birthright. Your power goes back to something very simple.

At the highest spiritual level, you are made in the image and the likeness of the creator—whatever you call that creator—the source of life, the source of all things. You are one with that source—the same source that makes trees, tornadoes, sunshine, the ocean, the mountains, people. You have the same capacity, the same inherent light and the ability to create. This is your birthright. You were born with power. No one can take it away.

2. The only thing that can diminish your power is your belief that you do not have it. Repeat this to yourself. Every day.

3. Gold stars do not affirm your power. The way life is designed, we are programmed, conditioned and educated out of our power because we have been programmed, conditioned and educated to please others, to do what others say and to do what others are doing. Here's my classic story: When I went to school, they used to have a board where, if you did your work well, you got a star. There were gold stars, silver stars, green stars, blue stars, red stars. Now, red stars were not good stars. But at least you got a star. Well, when it came to writing, I could never get that little hook on that a. I just couldn't do it. I don't know why. I always got green stars: great effort, just not perfect. It confirmed my belief that I wasn't good enough because I couldn't do what somebody else could. What I know now is that comparing ourselves to others is an act of self-violence, as is living up to the expectation of others or not listening to your gut. These acts are about other people. These acts are all about external validation. Power is you. Power is standing up as your true self.

4. Power is a habit. Everything we do as human beings is a habit. I've heard that it only takes 40 repetitions to install a habit. Most of us have created a habit of being disempowered: We don't ask for this, don't do that, don't say this, don't say that. Instead, we must create a habit that reinforces our personal power. Part of this requires a daily spiritual practice. We nourish our bodies. We nourish our minds. Do we nourish our spirits? The way to remain connected to, conscious of and in alignment with our power is to remain connected to, conscious of and aligned with our source. That can be through mediation, journaling or stillness. We want to empty the mind as often as possible. We want to listen to that still, small voice that's within.

5. Power is most accessible in your worst times, not your best. When your plane crashes and you wake up in the middle of the desert with no food and no water, it doesn't matter how much money you have, how much education you have or how many friends you have. The great philosopher Whitney Houston, whom I love, sings a song: I didn't know my own strength. I crashed down, and I tumbled, but I did not crumble. I never knew my own strength. Very often, when the things that we lean on for strength—the marriage, the money, the image, the name—are gone, that's when we discover our power.

6. It's okay to forget your power. We're all going to have our moments when we get angry, upset, afraid—when we think we just can't do it. But how long do you stay there? How long do you allow the critical voice in your head to condemn you for your choices? How long will you stay in conflict and confusion, or are you able to focus your attention on something greater, grander, bigger, more loving, more powerful? It's about your recovery time. How long do you stay in your humanness before you slip back into your divinity? The ability to make that shift is the sign of being in touch with your power. 

Read more: http://www.oprah.com/oprahs-lifeclass/Iyanla-Vanzant-What-You-Dont-Know-About-the-Power-Youve-Always-Had#ixzz1dW254t8U

how old? warning for parents

Hi Foster Parents!!
 I am sure you heard about the young boy killed walking alone to school....just 8 years old!!

 My words today are: please don't allow your kids to walk anywhere alone under 13 years old!! 
Even at 10 with a buddy/family member perhaps.
8 is way too young, there are no decision making skills, this is why the poor boy not only went to a car for help, but got in!
He is innocent and did not know how to "judge" anyone, as far as he was concerned, the world was perfect and he was loved.
Usually - (unless they come from a horrible background of abuse/violence etc..) Crime never enters an 8 year old  mind because he/she is at a precious age of innocence.

It was his parents job to protect him from monsters like this!
No one can ever be 100% safe but this was an unfortunate price for a parent to pay for "letting your kid find themselves and be grown up"...
*A few kids parents stated he tried to get them in the car....this guy is a serious pedophile and it would not shock me if they find more victims....and if they don't its because he "got rid of the evidence".

 How do we as parents avoid this? Don't allow your kids to walk alone anywhere and don't leave them in the care of strangers OR people they ARE NOT comfortable with!! Especially foster kids, they will not usually tell you someone is threatening or hurting them...they don't want to be "moved again" or lose the only home they liked!!
 I knew a man who told me his mothers best friend use to make him perform" acts while she babysit!! I have heard this many times, sad part is, they never told there parents they were only 9 and 10 years old..she was 40...clearly a female pedophile!!
I wonder how many more this monster hurt?......
 think before we act as parents, it is our job to provide love, protect and keep safe...
thanks Tanya

summer is near

Hi Foster Parents!

Summer is nearing. If you have foster kids and this is your first....congradualations on being a life changer! Your work is cut out BUT if you guide, love and lead unconditionally, it will be worth it. Not only because  kids learn by great examples but because as you get older, you will have someone there for you! So often we go through life thinking we don't need anyone. I see seniors today who wisely chose not to have kids and now there partners are gone, there in their 80's....with no one to help them with even grocery's!! Seems small but when your on the 99 year old life plan, its not fun being alone. I believe God made kids for increasing the population but because he knew we need to love and help others. Your role as foster parent is so crucial and I commend you for stepping out of your comfort zone to raise some one elses child! Remember, if done right: raising the child with values, morals, love, guidance, sense of community, higher power, self esteem, it will be worth it!!! We can never have too much love and what better match than a foster kid who has moved around or was abused and a parent who was raised with love and can share!!

thank you for your hard work, you are blessed.

Tanya

Tanya delivers a message to youth

Foster Kids, Personal Mentors Honored at Event

Scholarship funds, awards presented at event coinciding with National Foster Care Month.

By Tom Auchterlonie | Email the author | May 19, 2011

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Tell Your Neighbors About Patch

For Tanya Cooper, growing up in the foster care system meant changing residencies and abuse. While she could have ended up as a statistic pointing to hardships, she overcame her difficulties thanks to support from people who cared.

At a Wednesday event at the Mount Kisco Public Library, Cooper raised awareness of being a foster kid, gave recognition to those who helped her growing up and arranged for a new scholarship fund to help teens who are "aging out" of the foster system and heading to college.

For Cooper, who spoke emotionally about his background, her childhood and teen years did not come easy, as she grew up without a permanent household.

At just 5, she and her three siblings were taken away from their mother in Brooklyn, who was sick and had a heroin addiction; she passed away when Cooper was 17. They were left alone for periods of time and with no food. However, being pulled apart as a family created its own problems for Cooper, as she passed through group homes and foster care, hardship that included sexual abuse. Since then she was tried to reconcile with her sister, whom he declined to name, and is trying to locate her other brother, Mark. Growing up, she was still with her other brother, Robert, whose life was cut short in 2009 when he died of heart disease at 41.

Even being pulled away by her mother, in a process intended to help children, felt alienating to a child who did not know the circumstances.

"They treat you like you're a rare animal meant for the zoo," Cooper said in reading from her book, which lookde at the matter from a child's perspective.

Yet, despite getting a torrent of hardships and obstacles in her way, Cooper persevered, graduating from Fox Lane High School - she lived then, and lives now in Bedford Hills - and then New York University. She also did a stint as a model in Paris, and got involved in substance abuse counseling for teens. She now has a family of her own with two daughters, Arielle and Tatiana.

Recently, Cooper has taken on a new, informal career as a motivational speaker, and is even self publishing a book about her experiences, titled Surviving Foster Care & Making it Work for You, which she reads parts of at the event.

This interest, combined with Robert's death, spurred her to action to speak out about foster care issues.

In organizing Wednesday's event, in recognition of National Foster Kids Month, Cooper got together with Megan Castellano of the Mental Health Association in Putnam. Castellano, who is originally from Mount Kisco and was a high school friend of Robert Cooper, got together with Tanya Cooper after discovering a 2010 profile of her in The Journal News. She spoke emotionally about the loss of Robert Cooper and passionately spoke about about the issues of foster kids, noting that mental health is tied in as an issue. She also noted that Robert Cooper got her interested in her career based on how he felt positively of a social worker who helped him.

It was Robert Cooper's memory that helped spur the creation of the event. A $250 scholarship was presented in his honor. The first winner this year was Ramusa Alejandro, who is a Fox Lane student and lived in a Bedford group home. For college, he will be heading to St. John's University.

“While I was too young then to understand what was happening, I was not going to end up just another statistic," Alejandro wrote in an essay that was read aloud. In accepting the scholarship, he said that “a smile does go a long way," and noted how seeing smiles would cheer him up.

Three honorable receipients of extra amount of $100 were also honored: Amanda Ocasio, Reggie Silva and Crystal Abad.

In her acceptance, Ocasio, who is a student at the Dr. Kenneth B. Clark Academy in Dobbs Ferry and will go to the Fashion Institute of Technology next fall, thanked St. Christopher's, which works with Clark, for its support. Silva, who also attends Clark, will attend LaGuardia Community College and study accounting.

In recognition of adults who helped Cooper, two Citizen of Change Awards were presented. They went to Mary Ellen McKee, who was a physical education teacher at Fox Lane when Cooper was a student there, and Gamilah Lamumba Shabazz, a counselor who supported her when she was in a group home as a teen.

“She did everything, but she just had so much bottled up inside and didn’t know how to release it," said Shabazz. "Once she was able to vent everything she just flowered.”

McKee also received recognition from Mayor J. Michael Cindrich, who issued a local proclaimation for May 20 to be a day in her honor. Locally, her ties to Mount Kisco include being a congregant of St. Mark's Episcopal Church, and having served on the boards of Mount Kisco Child Care Center and the Boys & Girls Club. This proclaimation was made along with a general one for foster care, with is May 19.

Cindrich recounted his own family history with helping parentless children, noting that he had a great-grandfather who lived in Brooklyn a century ago who adopted two children, in addition to his six biological children. They went on to become New York City police officers, he said, while the biological children turned to careers that included clergy and teaching.

Ultimately, the occasion was one to bring people together and to spread awareness of foster kids, as well as to encourage those aging out of the system to keep grow into productive adults.

Editor's Note: Some references to Tanya Cooper's brother, Robert, had him identified as "Richard Cooper," in addition to the correct references. The story has been updated and fixed.