saving or changing a life one kid at a time

have you been called to foster or adopt? has everyone and everything around you calling for you to help another kid without parents? God wants all kids to have parents but sometimes Satan is busy and calls the very person who birthed you to give up, leave, die or become neglectful enough to lose their kids. I am one of those kids and I am happy to say my mom did what was best for ME!!

I would not have flourished into a loving human being who respects all life, had it not been for the guidance of a  great woman counselor a few nuns and my foster mother!

I can say that I still would not have been a murderer, thief or liar, because even before foster care, I did not bore those traits. My foster mother was able to teach me to work with my gifts and use them to my benefit to help others. If she had been a selfish woman, she may have said, I can't raise all those kids, its expensive, they have issues... she could have made many excuses, but thank she did not have a selfish bone in her body! My brother and I were able to flourish due to her nourishing skills and patience!

If you are called to help foster children, answer the call - you can make a difference by teaching a kid who grew up in a group home all his or her life, family values, how to share, how to love unconditionally, how to help others, just how to be a decent human being who gives back to the earth and not take or mentally drain people. Follow your gut, there are many free classes from social services, many stipends and support groups!! If you cannot give that child a secure home, love and basic food, maybe your right but if you can show love and support...you will be surprised who will take care of you when your old, who will come to your rescue, you get what you give, please give love and allow time to show you, they will love you too!!

Tanya

how to tell when you have a real friend as you get older

Hi blog family!

you know how to tell when you have good friends?? You will find out who REALLY is your friend when..

1. Someone close dies ie..like my brother
2. you go homeless
3. get in trouble with the law, even if its a misunderstanding and your vindicated, when you get locked up and try to make a call".....see how many can get your kids, get bail or even visit!!!
4. You are having surgery and need a ride
5. You have cancer
6. You getting a divorce
7. Your money is frozen in your bank...
8. You are suicidal, homicidal or abusing drugs/alcohol

ALWAYS CHOOSE YOUR "FRIENDS CAREFULLY, ESPECIALLY IF YOU HAVE NO FAMILY- THEY WILL BE THE ONES WHO HAVE YOUR BACK IN HARD TIMES!!

THEY WILL OFFER SUPPORT OR IDEAS ON HOW TO GET HELP

THEY WILL LEND YOU THERE COUCH, $, TIME AND LOVE---WHENEVER YOU NEED IT!! AS LONG AS ITS NOT HABITUAL...( I DID NOT SAY THEY CAN BE TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF, I MEAN WHEN YOU HAVE A SITUATION YOU CAN COUNT ON THEM BECAUSE YOU WOULD DO THE SAME!!):)

I FOUND OUT WHEN MY BABY BROTHER DIED WHO MY TRUE FRIENDS WHERE AND WHO CARING PEOPLE WHOM I KNEW BUT DID NOT EXPECT THEIR SUPPORT - AND GOT IT BECAUSE THEY WERE GOOD HUMAN BEINGS WHO KNEW PAIN IN ONE FORM OR ANOTHER.

CHOOSE WISELY - look for support, growth, potential, greatness and love in friends- they will expect it back from you - as should be!

 LIFE CAN BE GOOD, WITHOUT FAMILY, IF U CHOOSE GREAT FRIENDS!! don't allow bitterness into your life - your life is now what YOU make it!!

Hi blog family!!

May 16th is approaching for our Celebration - did you RSVP?? tgirlcooper@yahoo.com - you don't want to miss this event!!
So much is going on in in the world, just this last month with Boston, who knows when you will encounter an orphan?
The world is a great place and you should be ready to help others - at any time!
Come out Thursday May 16th and learn about how to keep Siblings connected.
I will be sharing a piece with you from my book: "Surviving Foster Care and Making It Work For You!" my heart breaking separation story from my older sister and baby brother!

Award wining Journalist, Liz Welch, "The Kids Are All Right" will be sharing her story of being separated from her siblings following the death of both parents, the subject of her memoir!
Congratulations to The Recipient of The Robert Cooper Memorial Scholarship!! Congrats to our honorees!

This is a FREE community event!
When: May 16, 2013 - 4-6pm
Where: The Mount Kisco Public Library 2nd fl
*(if your on time and stay..refreshments served:) lol

Change cannot happen until community gets involved and WE ALL do SOMETHING to help those without parents and resources!!

Because of my brothers generous friends, someones life will be changed, R.I.P little brother!!:)

"Do what you can, with what you have" is what my brother Rob use to say and I share this with you,
so that you can NOT wait until you RICH, Famous, to help others
but now with what little you have! Everyone has a gift! How can you use yours to help others?
You are your brother - and sisters keeper!!

I have no "money" but I am able to help kids through people who do!
Remember this: MOST people WANT to help - but sometimes you have to ask!

FosterKidsUnite is looking for a sponsor - please contact us if your interested!!
Smile, someone is watching you!! xo Tanya

Hi blog family!

as I listen my talented 16 year old, I thank God for bringing me to her and her sister, my girls are the greatest gifts I could have asked for in this life!!


Wow! today is my 48th birthday!!! 

I am SO blessed to have made it this many years being the child of an addict!!
I thank God every day that not only have i made it, but in better health than many!

We often take for granted the little things, I want you to know, I am blessed and highly favored no matter what has happened in my life!!
Even after abandonment, neglect, rejection and abuse...I AM STILL STANDING TALL!!
why?
 Because it is my right to be happy and be a blessing to others when I can!!

I will not allow negative people, places or things to EVER change my giving heart, for it is one of the many reasons i think I was born. 

We all have divine purpose and let NO man, woman or child stop you from your divine purpose of sharing, caring, mentoring and helping others.

The world has got some pretty selfish people in it today- don't let anyone tell you you can't help others if YOUR without money! that is a lie!! God always sends us angels when we need help!! I know because when I put out a call to send gift boxes to aged out foster kids now in college - St. Joseph's Church seniors came to the rescue!!! These ladies are amazing for helping me help 10 young adults who are without family.  I cannot say thank you enough to these lovely group of lovely seniors, ( who all look fabulous and not like seniors"... if this is the new over 65....i can't wait!! These ladies have spunk, gut, wit and hearts of gold!!

My message: don't let anyone tell you you have to be rich to help others! If you have an idea, share it with your friends, church or anyone who will listen... I know gift cards and candy/snacks may not mean much to a kid who has everything but when you don't have family or your family is poor and your in school...every penny counts! Always remember to help AND say thank you to ANYONE who helps you!! Just because I ended up in foster care does NOT mean ANYONE has to help me, so I thank ANYONE who extends a hand...and I always say thank you! My foster mom use to say: you never know when you will need help again AND someone else may help you just for being thankful!! I am grateful for my 4 kids that sent a thank you, for those that did not, I am sad but, please know, thanks goes a long way!! You cannot be blessed until you have an attitude of Gratitude!!!
As I celebrate my 48 years..I will be thinking of you all who do not have family and those that do...love what you have now, tomorrow is not promised and help others when you can, even if its with a smile, word or gift xo

Hi Blog Family!

SAVE THE DATE: MAY 16th, 2013 celebrate with Fosterkidsunite May, as National Foster Care Awareness Month at Mount Kisco Library again this year 4-6 pm.. This year we have an award winning journalist speaking and sharing her book and story!!!

As you can see, winter is here!! It can be cold outside and this weather can be less motivating at times, especially if your walking! lol.

I want you to think of ALL the obstacles you are facing today. At times life can seem Cold and unfair but that should never stop you from getting to your goals and being the best you!

I approaching another birthday Feb 9th and I often feel I am not "where I want to be"... but know that I keep traveling in this life, staying on track and getting back on when I feel I am falling off!

If you are a single parent, it can be a challenge to reach your goals, while you provide food and a safe home for your little ones....but that cannot stop you, it may slow you down but stopping is not an option!!

If you are living in foster care please start preparing your self for aging out by getting an education!! It does not have to be College" it can be trade school or classes but do SOMETHING that will ensure a financial future! If you had a child early you have to really stay focused and PLAN, PLAN, PLAN!!

Every move should be calculated and having a kid (if you did already), is NO excuse for failure or giving up!! I recommend NOT having ANY kids, until you have a career, can start a college fund for that baby, and hopefully a supportive partner/spouse that will provide financially AND mentally for that child!! I see why God made two parents...both are needed, not only so you can have relief at times...lol.. but so that another voice can guide the child....

I only say all of this because as I get older I realize MY mistakes, I have no regrets BUT I would have done things alot different had I known what it meant to live with no family...choose good friends, parents for your future kids...(that would be someone with an education and a career NOT a jump off, Dough boy, abuser, dysfunctional person that has NO goals or high thought of living their best life!!

Learn from my lessons Nothing can stop YOU but YOU! Stay focused and clear knowing that God and the Universe wants the best for you! I know it can be hard, I am still having a hard time, but I stay trying and refuse to believe that I cannot live a better life - today!!! xo

keep away from negative and work 3 jobs if you have to in order to achieve your goal, as long as your moving, thinking and taking action....something will come your way!!!

Tanya

Hi blog Parents!

DOES THE APPLE FALL FAR FROM THE TREE? CAN WE RAISE RESPONSIBLE ADULTS AFTER TRAUMA AND ABANDONMENT?

I saw a story on the parents of one of the Columbine Killers - Very sad that the person writing a book about parents of killers, thinks they had nothing to do with it and that the Apple can fall far from the tree".....
If you want to raise strong, healthy happy kids...parenting IS very important! Not only a clean, decent place to live, community safety, love, care, lessons of life and talking daily so that you can pre-dict anger, suicide or homicide....but keeping your kids away from abusive (verbal or physical), spouses, family members...keeping them away from perverts, not allowing YOUR own OCD's to interfere so bad that they develop their own form. Knowing when your kid is being bullied OR that they are the type that can be bullied!! You have to know your kid and if you are just getting your foster child or just adopted a kid from another country or who is older...you must start RECONDITIONING your child's brain from ALL negative past events...HOW?? Therapy should be #1..find a therapist who is known for their breakthrough work!
2. PATIENCE....they cant change overnight, my mom got me at 7 years old...she had major patience, love and understanding and would AND she never judged me, just loved me until I was able to figure out the right way for me" (not her)....
3. Remember your job as a parent is to raise responsible, loving, healthy people who GIVE back to society and NOT Rob it of all its resources!!
4. Every day is a new day to start over...kids learn a new habit in 30 days, teach them well, and your work will pay off when they are adults who know how to maintain a healthy career and live life to the fullest...when they are around 30...you will see your fruits of labor..hopefully...they have never hurt anyone, been violent, jail for criminal/homicidal reasons..and hopefully they have spread what you taught them to a few strangers along the way... Teach them to pay it forward"....this is what life really is about in my opinion...
SO IN THE END THE APPLE DOES NOT FALL FAR FROM THE TREE BUT SOMETIMES IT LANDS NEAR ANOTHER TREE....LOL...REMEMBER: " OUR PARENTS ARE SOMETIMES ONLY A VEHICLE TO GET US HER, SOMETIMES LIKE IN OUR CASE, SOMEONE ELSE HAS TO BE A "PARENT"!

Have a great day, know that your work is important and NEEDED!! Thank you for loving someone Else's kids, the world has a chance to be a better place because of you!!!

Tanya

Hi blog family!

Thanksgiving is approaching! Share your home for the holiday" if you can with another former foster child or a kid from the group home (that you know) that has NO family to go to on the holiday! I am trying to enact a place every year for kids in my area to go. 

Remember Holidays are a high time for suicide! No one wants to be alone or be reminded that they have no family. I struggle with this daily. It has been hard because before I was sexually abused by my two foster brothers, (one deceased and one out of jail after serving 7 years for molesting a student and his niece..) We use to have great dinners together as family, holidays were fun BUT I was robbed of that and can never go and have dinner or be "social" with the one that is alive....because I value my sanity too much! I know I am not the only one who has an awkward situation, and I won't be the last!

I want you to find positive friends, and if they cherish you, they will invite you to their home in times like these. There are people who never went to foster care and was abused by family, and cannot go home for the holidays (in order to keep their sanity)...that is ok..If you are a true friend you will never judge them or try to get them to "get over it"...or go back and "hangout" with their abusers..No one should ever be violated or forced to hang out with a person that destroyed their childhood innocence!! 

This is VERY important for my readers to know when it comes to why people you think" have family are not going home, (besides the basic 20 somethings who are too busy enjoying life to go home) :) there are those who left their family for a reason! Don't meddle in their business, unless they tell you, just understand and provide an alternative for the holidays!!

God made us all to love each other when we are down, who will you help for the holiday?? Bring food to the pantry, open your home to someone who has no family (if you trust them in your home):) (i am NOT saying invite someone displaying multiple personality's in your home or Charles Manson!!!)lol..

I am saying if you have a friend that never goes anywhere for the holiday....and he/she is NOT the Grinch...invite them to share and see how a family loves, respects and eat together on the holidays!!xo

have a great day - know that you are loved, special and needed in this world!!!

Tanya